Yesterday was hard. It started with the fire inspector and insurance adjuster assessing the scene. Then, we spent the rest of the day at the house digging through the remains...trying to find anything we could to salvage. Two precious men from our church stayed until past dark helping us.
It was humbling. The front door is open, the roof is gone.
The windows are all shattered. It seems so vulnerable. The place that gave me such security and warmth is no longer. It is open for all to see. The place that holds so many memories is gone.
As we dug through the rubble, I shed some tears and had some laughs. I found my container that held all the children's keepsakes. It was melted; the pictures and contents disintegrated. But there was a small area, where the kids baby blankets were, that I think I can salvage a small square piece of blanket for each child. They were stained with soot and reeked of smoke. But I was thrilled...it was something. John dug with his bare hands and found the girls' baby rings. And one of the church men found Aiden's dedication Bible!!! I found the hairbow that both girls wore at their 1st birthdays.
And I found a picture of all three kids in their dedication outfits. The dedication outfits are gone, but the Lord gave me the pictures! What a great God.
So many people say, "I don't know why the Lord let this happen to you." And I don't have the answers. At times, I ask the Lord the same question. I realize that the God in Heaven knew and watched from above as that heat lamp began to smolder. He watched as the kitchen began to burn.
I realize that at any moment He could have stopped the entire event from happening....but He didn't. He watched as John, Jeana, and the babies lie sleeping as the house burned. He allowed all my precious keepsakes and momentos to be taken from me. He saw my great-great grandmothers hutch go up in flames. He watched John's grandmother's china shatter as is fell when the ceiling collapsed under the flames. He allowed my childrens' artwork to be destroyed. He saw my beautiful wedding dress and our wedding portraits burn.
Why? I don't know. But I know that what I lost can never compare to what HE gave for us when He gave His Son to come to this world to die. Why did we lose our home? I don't know. Why did He give His Son? I DO know! He gave His Son for you and for me so that we could have an eternal home in Heaven with HIM.
I lost my earthly home to fire, but nothing can harm my eternal home in Heaven. Do you have that assurance? Do you know that you have a home in Heaven? What a wonderful time, at Christmas, to open your heart to Him!
So I ask, why did God sit back and watch our home burn? Why did this happen to us? Maybe it had nothing at all to do with us but with YOU. Maybe God knew it would take this for you to look at Him and see His love and mercy. Yesterday, I realized something; that if the Lord allowed this to happen so that just one person would come to Him, then that's okay with me. Standing in front of the remains of my home, I told the Lord that if this is the way He can use us, then let it be. I can honestly say, that if someone would open their heart to the LORD, then I would stand there on the road and watch it all burn again. My memories, my belongings...everything. I would give them up for just one soul.
SO are you the reason God watched my home burn? If you are, please don't let this all be in vain. Give your heart to the LORD!