"You are a missionary!"
"You are going to Africa!!"
"You must have great faith!"
I wish that was always the case..... but the Lord has so convicted me. I am a worrier by nature. I get anxious over little things and try my best to fix things. Just the other day a situation came up that I have since been struggling with, trying to figure out how in my power I could fix it. I was worrying, stressing. I knew that I could solve the problem and ease my worries. Then I thought, maybe I will mention it to a few people and ask them to pray for the outcome that I just knew would be best.
That very day, I read a quote that the Lord used to immediately convict me. It simply said, "have you prayed about it today, as much as you have talked about it today?". Wow! That was just for me. It is easy to excuse my worrying as just being a mom, just concerned about my kids, right? Well, no. The Lord has shown me anew that my worrying and anxiety is so much more than just being a mom.....it is sin. I didn't want to think about it like that...but I realized that my worrying is a lack of faith and displeasing to god. Hebrews 11:6, But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." There is it...my worrying is displeasing to God.
That realization absolutely broke my heart.
I am far from perfect and have so much growing to do as a Christian, but more than anything I want to please God.
So now what? How will I allow this to really change me? I know this is something that I will probably always struggle with. It is my weakness. I struggle with it almost constantly through out the day. But the Lord has given the answer. He told us, "Be careful(literally anxious) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." So rather than taking things into my own hands and sending an email trying to accomplish my will; and rather than telling anyone what the issue is, the Lord convicted me to simply pray and have faith in His outcome. Instead of trying to take control, I will lay my burden at Jesus feet. As the thoughts of worry and uncertainty creep into my head, I simply whisper, "Lord I know you are in control. I am giving it to you." He knows best and He wants the best for us. So instead, with the Lord's help, I will talk less and pray more!